I held it so tight in my arms against my chest, like someone’s gonna steal it from me.

I felt scared, thinking about how we’re gonna separate for at least four months.

Who knows what’s gonna change between us.

I know there’s definitely gonna be a change. We’re gonna change.

I know now.  I know why I am so terrified.

It’s because we’ve never changed for each other, for the past 4 and a half years.

It could probably be the reason why we have fought so much…

But it is also the reason why we are bound so close together…

Gosh, I hate this count-down thing…

There’s only one month and a half left…

I still cannot believe we’re gonna be so far away from each other for such a long period of time…  I really don’t want you to leave…

週一訂的American Apparel居然今天早上就到了，不得不佩服Fedex的運貨度。 今天一早起床除了K書之外，最令我興奮不已的就是等包裹。 我從前兩天就不停注意FedEx網上的Tracking，看看我的包裹是如何從LA度洋到TPE來。 這樣的過程真的令我飽受煎熬，我甚至在K書中心也都要利用手機來追蹤包裹進度。 這樣的經驗其實還挺有趣的，不僅學到單字backorder和in-stock order， 還了解到原來大部分要從美西飛往亞洲的行班都要從Alaska的Anchorage市飛來； 除此之外，還發現原來大圓鄉就是桃園國際機場的所在地，以及清關就是要國家要瘋狂扣稅的意思。 這次跨洋購物唯一美中不足的地方有兩點； 首先是貨物送達時的那通電話有點令我措手不及， 話筒內的快遞先生忽然提醒我要繳交946元，還好手邊還有些鈔票， 不然還真得要他與那台可愛的FedEx貨車等我先去ATM領錢。 在詢問過後才得知這筆幾乎可以再購買一件T-shirt的金額是海關要扣的稅金（有人能告訴我海關扣稅是要作何用途？）。 再來令我有些失望的就是其中一件T-shirt居然跟網路上的圖片長得有明顯差距， 此外，在我要剪開包裝時，殊不知它材質如此纖薄，一不小心就在衣服上劃下一刀， 就這樣 衣服上有了一刀痕，從那刀痕內跑出線屑，彷彿再經幾次拉扯或洗滌就將變成一件漏胸裝。 雖然American Apparel官網有說衣物要是有defective的現象是可以做return的動作， 但這又要怪誰呢？我想衣物輕薄包裝不透明不是他們的錯，拆包裝不小心剪刀又太利是我的錯。真的只能認了。

最近拿到手一堆愛出dvd的專輯, 像是Beirut的《Cheap Magic Inside》, Mogwai的《The Hawk
Is Howling》, 還有03年Colder的《Again》. 其中我比較愛Colder的《Again》, 並不是因為他樂風,
而是他的噱頭十足:一位搞影像的法國設計師來搞一張音樂專輯. DVD裡的影片有的是一鏡到底,
有的是動畫, 有的是雜訊大雜燴. 很適合在家裡用投影機在牆壁上撥放, 再一邊做家事.

It is truly a magical as well as a tear-bursting film.
Scenes I can still recall: the fingers-earlier wrinkled and later smooth-tapping on the keys of the piano, babies in the cradle-
earlier wrinkled and later smooth- Button coming to this world with a loud cry and departing here in peace, and the last scene
in which the the machine clock of the Grand Central Terminal being changed into a digital one and being kept in a storage
room when the tide of time rolling in and the second hand going anti-clockwise.

I can’t resist the easy-elegance of Bottega Veneta’s 2009 collection…

“The jacket acts as a versatile symbol of a destructured formal style, loose fitting
with light comfortable volumes, a series of proposals with one common denominator:
discreet, super deluxe, easy elegance. Loose jersey and knitted blazers, with square,
barely raised shoulders, in slightly creased, dual monochrome patterns including pyjama
orgingham effect fabrics, finishing with a white, shantung silk, dinner jacket. Wide, baggy pants
in bothchino sporty and wrinkled vintage styles plus models with double pleats and turn-ups.
Glimpses of colour, predominantly classic blue, white and ash. Supple leather accessories:
roomy, linear bags and practical shoppers-cumbriefcases, austere mocassins and round-toe
shoes, sophisticated Derby models and handmade lace-ups, delightful themed little neck scarves
and bow ties.

Andrew Bird又來了。新專輯裡《Noble Beast》的一碟《Useless Creatures》
我獨愛〈You Woke Me Up〉和〈Nyatiti〉。實在是太好玩了。

Califone是個來自芝加哥的搖滾樂團。曲風迴異多元，post-rock, art rock, blues rock。
2006年Roots & Crowns後就沒再發表新作品。
挺有民謠那般溫暖，不過卻也愛學post-rock完一些實驗性的元素。
玩東玩西的小團，不高調，不做作，我愛。

even know if I am able to completely relate it in words here.

I was supposed to go to NCCU today, again, just as I always do; ‘stealing into

the campus, then into the classroom, finally seating myself in the very rear of the room

just like an invisible man (although I must declare that I always get the permission

from the teachers before I go there to listen). That’s right. Precisely, to me, this

is the essential idea of being an auditor student: to be a transparent ‘spirit’. In that

classroom, I am a ‘de-selfed’ being; it is the drive of zeal for knowledge which

steers me to there to listen, not the slothful, sloppy, timid me. “Diligent” cannot be

found in my dictionary (perhaps it might be in my book of maxims on the shelf). Anyway,

Sorry I was carried too far away from what I was talking about. Geez, for Christ’s sake!

This is not an essay! Forget about writing teachers’ demands here!

This should be a self-consciousness fiction.

Alright. I was saying this morning I had this latent voice lurring behind my mind which

constantly urged me,” Thou shalt not go to NCCU, thou shan’t”. It was at first fairly

perplexing because I am definitely not and probably never will be a Christian . Then I tried

to distract myself from heeding it by attentively reading the dreadful Sylvia Plath, still,

my endeavors to ignore it were all in vain. Just at a glance, the darting time already got

to the moment I should leave. I didn’t give myself a second thought; as soon as it’s 11:45,

on the spot, without any hesitation, I packed my bags and galloped away as a horse with no rein.

On my way to the bus stop, I decided I must make a choice – either to go to listen to the

American hypnotizer teaching, with a slow dulling way, American literature from the colonial

period to the 19th century, or, instead of, with the risk of falling asleep by accident in class,

spending three hours a week for slow but clearer lecture on the context of American lit., to spend

the time in scrupulously reading and studying the materials about that part of American lit. which

I’ve had for a long time but still haven’t gotten adequate time to read. That was a major decision

for me to make….

OK, I’m tired… I’ll see if I can complete this story next time…

of social status in a hierarchical society, would it then be sensible for of us to be

vacant-minded and to disguise ourselves as if the world is a mere masquerade? If

both of our innate nature and external materials are the inevitable products of

ideology, are we all just the doomed automatons controlled by the bourgeois and

aristocrats?